Death and Loathing
The stupidity of some people astounds me. Well... come to think of it... it doesn't. But anyways, to the story.
I went to see a movie yesterday, which would not surprise most people who know me. (It was Dirty Pretty Things actually-- very good.) There I am in the foyer before the movie started with a whole heap of other people (most of whom were going to see Touching the Void, which I thought was pretty unusual, but is totally beside the point) when someone collapsed. He (referred to as "the patient" from here on in, readers) was walking along, coming out of one of the cinemas and... gone. Fainted. Admittedly, it was a fairly spectacular effort involving collapsing barricades and big (non-collapsing) lounge chairs but, still, it was just a faint.
The guy wasn't dead. I could see that he was breathing from about 3 meters away.
Someone in the crowd start calling for a doctor. You know, "Is there a doctor in the house" (though, somewhat unfortunately I thought, he did not use those exact words). Not a bad idea. Just in case. Can't hurt, right. And while this guy is shouting, someone has rolled the patient onto his side. All going well so far.
When no response came to the call for a doctor "... or someone who knows CPR" was added.
Now, I know CPR (or did 5 years ago and I don't imaging it's changed dramatically since)but, as I said, I could see that it wasn't required (a lovely tight T-shirt was involved[can you say sarcasm, children?])and a couple of people in the thick of the action seemed to know what they were doing-- they had rolled the patient onto his side, after all, and had left it at that.
But then the stereotype, still not getting a response in his search for a doctor, rolls the patient onto his back and starts leaning on his chest-- as if he's trying to do CPR. Now the sentiment was nice, I'm sure but there was not a lot of science in his methods. He sat straddling the patient's legs and leaned on his chest at some random point... That was it. Thankfully he only did it once before someone slapped him around (though unfortunately-- it was a day of unfortunate happenings-- it was more a metaphorical slapping).
Now, the process (of CPR, not slapping) really isn't that hard and any ten year old who's seen one episode of ER and three of All Saints would have gotten closer to doing it properly. And that's ignoring the fact that the patient was still breathing (and, therefore, pumping blood) quite well on his own. In fact, about a minute later he was on his feet and out the door (despite some people telling him to hang around a bit longer).
The patient actually came out of the movie I went in to see, and it really wasn't that bad. (Sorry, just looking for a way to tie up my little story...)
The moral... People should need to pass some type of test before they are allowed to walk around in public.
Three and a half days of work remaining until the start of my holiday. Woo hoo.
I went to see a movie yesterday, which would not surprise most people who know me. (It was Dirty Pretty Things actually-- very good.) There I am in the foyer before the movie started with a whole heap of other people (most of whom were going to see Touching the Void, which I thought was pretty unusual, but is totally beside the point) when someone collapsed. He (referred to as "the patient" from here on in, readers) was walking along, coming out of one of the cinemas and... gone. Fainted. Admittedly, it was a fairly spectacular effort involving collapsing barricades and big (non-collapsing) lounge chairs but, still, it was just a faint.
The guy wasn't dead. I could see that he was breathing from about 3 meters away.
Someone in the crowd start calling for a doctor. You know, "Is there a doctor in the house" (though, somewhat unfortunately I thought, he did not use those exact words). Not a bad idea. Just in case. Can't hurt, right. And while this guy is shouting, someone has rolled the patient onto his side. All going well so far.
When no response came to the call for a doctor "... or someone who knows CPR" was added.
Now, I know CPR (or did 5 years ago and I don't imaging it's changed dramatically since)but, as I said, I could see that it wasn't required (a lovely tight T-shirt was involved[can you say sarcasm, children?])and a couple of people in the thick of the action seemed to know what they were doing-- they had rolled the patient onto his side, after all, and had left it at that.
But then the stereotype, still not getting a response in his search for a doctor, rolls the patient onto his back and starts leaning on his chest-- as if he's trying to do CPR. Now the sentiment was nice, I'm sure but there was not a lot of science in his methods. He sat straddling the patient's legs and leaned on his chest at some random point... That was it. Thankfully he only did it once before someone slapped him around (though unfortunately-- it was a day of unfortunate happenings-- it was more a metaphorical slapping).
Now, the process (of CPR, not slapping) really isn't that hard and any ten year old who's seen one episode of ER and three of All Saints would have gotten closer to doing it properly. And that's ignoring the fact that the patient was still breathing (and, therefore, pumping blood) quite well on his own. In fact, about a minute later he was on his feet and out the door (despite some people telling him to hang around a bit longer).
The patient actually came out of the movie I went in to see, and it really wasn't that bad. (Sorry, just looking for a way to tie up my little story...)
The moral... People should need to pass some type of test before they are allowed to walk around in public.
Three and a half days of work remaining until the start of my holiday. Woo hoo.
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